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First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

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I’m winter lipsett and I am making this blog to hopefully inspire people and also I want to be heard. I hope u all enjoy. Thank you. 

Failure 

I put myself in the way of every ounce of pain in order to keep my little siblings safe. I tore myself apart and died just so they kept a smile. As the oldest I gained happiness just by hearing them laugh. Years have past and they have grown and I can no longer be their shield. I am now watching my sister fall at age 14 and I cry in pain for I have failed. I try to stand by her and help her see but the demons have corrupted her mind and took her away from me. I have been beaten for years and ruined my life to make her life great. Now I am witnessing her hate towards me and I am confused and hurt. She’s angry and ok why but I will not say. She’s beautiful and smart but her demons make her think that bad is good n good is bad. I failed and I am sorry my sweet sister. All I can hope for is for you to one day open your eyes and see the true goodness in life and make better choices. 

I’m at one with the silence. 

  • I lived a life full of hate and noise. 
  • Teased by girls, harassed by boys. 
  • I learned that you can’t trust no one. 
  • I’d hide away holding a knife and a gun. 
  • Hesitation kicked in everytime. 
  • In a world full of sounds, I felt like the mime. 
  • Being ignored and forgotten. 
  • As my heart feels motionless and rotten. 
  • Loveless, blank, a shadow, silent. 
  • Not even being heard in this world that’s so sad and violent. 
  • I’m tired and in pain. 
  • Losing myself, nothing to gain. 
  • Walking around one last time in hopes of finding a reason. 
  • But only seeing more hate and treason. 
  • Hello knife. Hello gun
  • My mind says stay but my heart says run. 
  • My mind won this battle
  • As I put my finger on the trigger and grip the handle. 
  • Bye hate, bye pain, bye noise
  • Hello freedom, hello silence, hello joys. 
  • I’m at one with the silence at last. 
  • Feeling warmth, forgetting the present and past. 
  • Fading with a smile on my face hearing nothing but quiet. 
  • Silence surrounds me as the room goes black, no more riot. 
  • No more monsters, I can breathe again. 
  • In with my angel, away with my demon.

Nicholas Johnson

I loved you before I knew you. But after actually getting to know you I became infatuated with you and so in love with you. As a person your personality is so beautiful and so rare. The love you want to give to people the care you have in your heart the loving words and loving touch you have are so amazing. To be the woman to be able to witness all of this for me means the world to me and I couldn’t be more proud of the man that you are and have become since I have gotten to know you. Nicholas Johnson I love you with all my heart and I am glad and so proud to be able to call you mine this might not be a poem but is words from my heart to you. My head might speak faster than my mouth but just know that my hands will write 1000 words or more telling you how much I love you and want to live my life with you. I will take your name as Winter Johnson. I love you so much Nicholas Johnson. 

Blank………….Love

  1. Why am I not able to think?
  2. Why am I not able to speak?
  3. Why can’t I comprehend?
  4. I’m falling apart and i don’t know why.
  5. I don’t know why but then I do.
  6. It’s because of you. 
  7. You are my reason that I can’t think of. 
  8. You are my reason for becoming silent. 
  9. But why?
  10. Your smile
  11. Your laugh 
  12. Your eyes
  13. Your personality. 
  14. Everything that you are is so exhilarating. 
  15. I’m feeling something inside. 
  16. I never felt this before till I met you. 
  17. What could it be?
  18. Love
  19. Love is the emotion that burns within my heart and soul. 
  20. I love you
  21. I love you
  22. I love you. 
  23. Nicholas C. Johnson I love you. 

Break free

As the roof feels like it’s closing in and your vision becomes blurry as your heartbeat starts to slow and  your mind begins to scurry you fall to your knees and you hang your head hoping it’s a dream and you wake up in bed, you see life is hard and full of complications so many people so many generations everything is difficult barely anything is easy you got good people but then others are Sleezy it’s hard to know who you can and cannot trust it’s hard to know if it’s love or if it’s lust spinning round and round trying to figure a way out getting lost in crowds nobody hears you even when you scream or shout you become lost in the huge world where everyone is blind you become lost in the crowd and it messes with your mind “someone please help me” is what you try to say out loud but no one can barely hear you because you’re so small compared to the crowd. How can I be heard? how can I stand out? that’s what you’re mine thinks as you keep attempting to scream and shout. You start to walk against the crowd trying to get out hoping that you’ll start to turn people around trying not to fall back on the ground. Fighting through the crowd in the opposite direction. Hoping you help someone else open their eyes to make their own choice and selection. Keep on fighting is what you tell yourself. Trying to grow as tall as a giant instead of being as small as an elf. Remembering that being different and standing tall is better than being silent and being small. You’re starting to grow and you’re starting to realize that it doesn’t matter what your size as long as you stand loud and you are heard and your voice flies high just like a bird. Dream big dream strong dream out there dream long. Don’t stop and listen to other people’s opinion. do what you love you’re not there minion. So stand up stand tall and be who you are. Be unique be creative and shine like a star. 

My perfect son

  • People are yelling people are fighting
  • People are hurt and people are dying
  • I am scared and all alone
  • No one cares their hearts are made of stone
  • There’s A snowstorm and the lights go out
  • My mom gathers the kids and my dad walks about
  • He finds me in my room crying
  • Instead of saving me he touched me and I started dying
  • I found a guy that saved me for two years
  • He helped me trust and he would wipe my tears
  • Then he lied and tore my heart apart
  • So fast so quiet just like a speeding dart
  • But then he left me with my one-of-a-kind son
  • He laughs and please he’s so much fun
  • I smile laugh and play
  • But I can’t be saved my heart is gone and that’s how it’ll stay
  • My son has the last bit of my happiness
  • And with that I’ll teach him how to love and and I’ll teach him kindness
  • I love you baby mommy’s here
  • I’ll teach you greatness you have nothing to fear